It has been awhile..

Hey, everyone!

I am back at it. A lot of life has happened and a lot of things have changed, but no matter what, the dream remains the same.

Check out my new blog:

The Hopeful Word Addict

School, Moving, and Dreaming of Writing

Good evening, everyone.

   Do you remember those days when our parents would be us to take a nap and we’d scream no? Yeah, I am really missing those days right about now.

  Life has been crazy with school and this two week process of moving out of state. Luckily, the moving is almost over. We are at the top of the hill. Loading up the Uhaul tomorrow and headed for a new adventure the next day.

  I wanted to post tonight because I am dying to write creatively. I am currently taking a college writing course (because it is required.) I have never been a fan of classes specifically made to teach you how to write research papers. Is it a necessary evil? Yes, but it is still an evil. I do not know what was going on tonight, but here I am, trying to write a paper for class, and I was frozen. I enjoy the topic I was writing about, but I could not force myself to touch my keyboard. 

   I am sick of the black and white. I am tired of the “proper” format. I am done with one inch margins. I know I am learning useful things, but I want to write what I want to write. I want to work on my anthology. I want to write my shorts. I want to dream and pull all nighters seducing words and getting acquainted with characters. 

    Alright, school rant over. I just wanted to say hi and I am still alive. Still trudging through the semester. Still longing to write. 

I hope all is well.

Disconnected

My need to connect,

Completely disconnects me.

 

Longing for your words,

Leaves me deaf in the night.

 

The dance of your fingertips,

Leaves paths on my skin.

 

The embrace of your farewell,

Leaves my arms aching.

 

The hunger for passion,

Leaves me blind.

 

Seeking in the dark,

Leaves me numb after all.

 

My need to connect,

Completely disconnects me.

New Short Story Published

Seriously, go check this lovely lady out. Super talented and an awesome person.

Words of Margaux

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Pleased to announce that my short thriller “Ernest’s Awakening” is published on “5 Stories” literary magazine. I am giving away a free e-copy for one lucky winner by midnight tomorrow. Interested? Simply reblog this post or tweet the link below with the hashtag #MargaretGiveaway!

Ernest wakes up in a strange house, next to a strange woman, only to find out that the house is his, and the woman is his wife. Just as he is ready to surrender to his amnesia, a mnemonic incident reveals to Ernest that something more sinister than murder is lurking in his memory.

Purchase your copy: http://www.magzter.com/IN/Cresco-Books/5Stories/Entertainment/

Waiting for your feedback!

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Writing at 230am

Good evening, everyone.

Last night was an amazing night. If for no other reason, I was able to write! Like usual, my inspiration hit me at 230 in the morning. It felt so nice to create a character once again. To get to know them or at least to start to know them. I think I finally found a direction for the short, short story I wrote over a year ago. I even think I have an idea for my first collection! You have to love when your muse decides to visit.

I am filled with so many emotions right now that they are hard to define. Fear, excitement, anxiety, happiness, determination, overwhelmed, and hopeful. That is just naming a few. My girlfriend and I were approved for the townhouse of our dreams today. Well, our beginning a life in the city, dreams. We are headed there for a visit next week and if all goes well it will be officially ours.

I am still trying to land my first freelance writing gig. I am staying persistent and determined. I am going to write, damn it. That is all we can really do when it comes to our dreams, right? I have a tendency to give up on goals or dreams in fear of never reaching them, but you know what? Screw that. I heard someone say they were too old to move away and start a new career. No. I refuse to believe it is too late to do something you once dreamed of doing. I have dreamed of being a writer since I was an angsty teenager jotting in a moleskin notebook. I refuse to give up on something I love, and I hope you feel the same way. 

Wherever your dreams may find you, I hope they find you well. 

Lunging into a Dream

Good evening, everyone.

   I am feeling some excitement and some fear and I do not know what to do with all of it. So, I thought I’d spew it all out on here. The past several months my girlfriend and I have been discussing moving out of the small town we are currently in to more of a metro area. We finally made a decision, and it is finally happening. 

   Long story short; I have made the decision to take the plunge. We should be moving within the next two months, and I put my two weeks notice in at work tonight. With my girlfriend’s blessing, I am going to take the time after my two weeks is up to begin my writing career. If I can get enough leads and enough work, I can continue to just work on my writing when we move and grow my passion and business. (My half of the deal is doing all of the phone calls and other grunt work that goes along with long distance moves.) If it doesn’t work out, well, I will be looking for a job.

   I am excited and fearful all at the same time. I feel determined and apprehensive. I am confident and doubting everything I have ever typed. It is the the the final sentences of a chapter, and the first paragraph of another. I started applying for different forms of freelance work tonight. I guess we shall see how the journey goes.

   Thank you to all who have read my blog and have supported me further pursuing my dream. 

Empty

Good evening, everyone.

In the spirit of trying to work on my writing, I thought it would be a good idea to start sharing some of my work. Here is a poem of mine from last year that I just rediscovered. I hope you enjoy.

“Empty”

Pressure, Pulsing in your skull.

Searching for a deeper meaning,

Nowhere left to go.

Expelled into a memory.

Nothing left to see.

Empty

Intentions blurred by expectations,

Meanings whither to meaningless,

Longing for new sensations,

Empty

Breaking down,

Forgetting how low the rabbit hole goes.

No one is around.

Empty

Seeking the great perhaps,

I guarantee purgatory does not sell maps.

Which way to go,

God only knows.

I just pray He does not find me,

Empty

Good evening, everyone.

   Have you ever been in a position where you feel like there are so many different things you can do you are paralyzed? Yup, that is me. Right now. I am so blessed to have had my passion and drive re-lit with my writing and with wanting to pursue it more. But now, I feel stuck. I am afraid it is mostly fear. Fear of what? I am not sure. Fear of failing? No idea, but I do know failing is way better than never having tried at all. Already learned that lesson the hard way.

   Fear can be such a tricky thing. Fear can help us to stay safe, but fear can also choke the life right out of us. Here is an example: I am terrified of tornados. Tornados and spiders. If I were ever in a basement during a tornado and there was a spider infestation, God only knows what I would do. But last night I saw that there would be a threat of severe weather. Immediately, my anxiety gets going. Instead of tripping over the situation like I normally would I decided to do something different. I prayed. I sat and meditated and prayed and I felt a sense of peace. As I was working today I felt serenity and peace. If a little fear cropped up I would say a quick prayer in my head and was good to go again. You know what happened? It stormed, but it wasn’t so bad. So, I could have wasted all of that time worrying, as I have so many times before, for absolutely no reason. Everything is okay. That is what I feel fear does. It robs us of life. 

   So many times in my life I have been paralyzed by fear. That fear has stopped me from many things. Fear has wasted so much of my time. Not any more. I am sure I will still give in to fear from time to time, but I will not let fear stop me from achieving my dreams. 

   On a totally different note I would like to give a shootout to nickmckean. Thank you for your creativity and for giving me some inspiration to write tonight. 

Hi! Long time no see!

Good evening, everyone.

I know I have not posted in awhile, and I know I have not stuck to my commitment of posting every Monday and Friday. Here is what I have been up to: school, work, school, sleep, spiritual meeting, think, think, think, procrastinate, and sleep. Repeat.

I have been doing a lot of self-evaluation lately. My girlfriend and I have also been talking a lot about the things we want out of life. This is what I have come up with so far. My dream job is to be a writer. Freelance, short stories, and anything I can get my hands on. In order to do this I feel I need to research, and well, write. With so much going on I can lose track of my primary goals. The goals that make me get up in the morning. When I lose track of these goals it seems like everything else I do is pointless. Well, I got the shot to the arm I needed. 

My girlfriend and I were driving home from visiting her family and talking about what we wanted to do. Life wise, job wise, and everything along those lines. It dawned on me that I am the only thing getting in the way of my goals. I have always been a big believer that if you want something bad enough you will make time for it. School is not an excuse. My day job is not an excuse. If I want to be a writer I will make time for it. 

I was also talking with my spiritual advisor about goals. I have a tendency to go from 1-100 in 2 seconds flat. Sometimes I completely jump over the basics in my mind. Okay, I know I have wanted to be a writer for years and years. So, why am I not a writer yet? Well, there are some things you have to do before you make writing a career. Things like, the more you read the better you write. Oh, and I don’t know, maybe write more frequently? 

I know this post is somewhat of a rambled mess, BUT there is a point. Do not lose sight of your dreams. Do not let your goals slip away to the daily grind of life. If you want it bad enough; go get it. Do not feel like you have to just jump and land through the finish line. Sometimes big goals take lots of baby steps. I may not post every Monday and Friday, but you will be hearing from me a lot more often. I want this. Let’s do it!